Saturday, January 2, 2010

10 Days...

Kind of like running, baking provides ample opportunity to think. I appreciate that.
Amidst the 1/2 of cup of such and such and the beating well of this and that, thoughts, seemingly countless, unrelated, though sometimes huge life thoughts fill my mind. I don't really work any of them out entirely, but somehow their stresses are released and life just seems a little sweeter for a while.

Well that's if your baking cookies. If i were running, i could just keep running until sidewalk ran out or until I solved the world's problems. Until now, my legs and lungs just seem to give up right before I solve world hunger or perfect hovering air plane blueprints... but I'm working on that. But this whole predicament works out quite nice. You see... I bake and all these thoughts surface. Then when I'm done baking, because you always, eventually run out of dough and they do finish baking at some point, you still have things to work out. So you go running. And run off all the dough you ate. It's a pretty nice system.

Ok. Back to the point of this blog. I'm leaving for Korea in 10 days. Yes. 10 days. And as i write this... the pressure is mounting. The thoughts are countless and sometimes overwhelming. Holy toledo. My emotions are kind of like those awesome cans of fruit cocktail. That tab on the top is so luring. You pull it back thinking something will explode out of it, but then all you get is a little "pshh" of air. Not as exciting as you thought. So you look in. You know what's in it... but when you pull a bite out, you're not real sure what kind of fruit it is, but you eat it anyway. Kind of like a surprise every time. Yea... that's about right where i am. A little fruit salad in heavy syrup. Actually no syrup. That's just sick.

So, I'm super excited!! There is so much is ahead for me! This is an opportunity of a life time. Literally! And I'm so blessed to be able to go! However, what i am leaving behind is also big! And getting bigger every day. And that makes me a little sad. You see, I've had to come to balance living the life God has given Sarah and being in the lives of people God has called me to. That being my family. My friends. The people God has called me to love who don't know him yet. And while it would be easy to live on the sidelines... God has not called me to that! He's called me to play! To go big... and then go home! And that excites me! If i wait for life around me to slow down before I start living mine, I'll be 90 and wondering what happened! I'm not about that! When I'm 90 I hope to, Lord willing, be sitting in a rocking chair thanking Jesus for the full, vibrant, adventurous, life changing life he gave me to live! That's no sideline kind of life if you ask me!

Don't be fouled. I'm plenty scared. Plenty anxious and nervous, and all other kinds of emotions that keep you from eating normally and make you bite the inside of your cheek profusely. BUT... I'm excited for what the Lord has for me in Korea! LIKE SUPER EXCITED!! Which makes all else doable! (And the promise of Skype. Free face time with my loved ones! YES PLEASE.)

So... these emotions I speak of, I can't really label them. It's kind of a sweet mixture of it all. But it's good, really good, even when I don't know what the heck is happening or what is going to happen!! 10 days and counting down. I'm sure more is to come on this blog in the near future. You see when I'm stressed i not only cook, and run... i write. : )

And i just wrote a blog about emotions and canned fruit cocktail. So be prepared.... who knows what's next.


1 comment:

  1. Go Hard or Go Home!